Peking Duck and Poisoned Wells: An Interview with Author Lillian Li
Lillian Li is an author based in Ann Arbor, Michigan. She’s most known for her book Number One Chinese Restaurant, which tells the story of employees in a Peking Duck restaurant and how they deal with their personal relationships when tragedy strikes. It has been featured by TIME, the Wall Street Journal, and Buzzfeed. Li’s work has also appeared in The Guardian and Medium. As her cousin, I loved getting the chance to catch up with her and learn more about her journey as a writer.
This interview has been edited and condensed.
When did you first realize you wanted to become a writer?
There are two different ways to answer the question. When I first decided I loved writing was probably as early as first grade. They had an assignment where you had to keep a journal every single day. That was probably the first time that I started really enjoying the act of writing.
In terms of becoming a writer, I think it was actually in high school. [In junior year], my school sent me to my very first writers conference, the Sewanee Young Writers’ Conference. And that was the first time I learned what a contemporary short story was, not just what was assigned in English class. I wrote my own short story and read other people’s. [I also met] all these other kids my age who wanted to be writers, or loved writing. That was probably the first time that I realized that I could identify as a writer, and that was something that I wanted to be.
When you told your friends or family that you wanted to become a writer, did you ever face any opposition or pushback?
I don’t know that I ever explicitly told my family that I wanted to be a writer. I think it was one of those things that didn’t have to be said. At the same time, what did need to be said on my family’s part were their warnings about how difficult it would be and the practicalities of making a living as writer, all true by the way.
It was less of an attempt to forbid me from writing, but it was certainly an attempt to scare me off of writing, since it was a much more difficult path, and my family wanted me to have a comfortable and happy life. And what I was able to communicate was that I could [either] have a comfortable and unhappy life, or a happy and uncomfortable life. Ultimately, I think all of us agreed that happiness was more worthwhile than comfort.
You mentioned that there were some practicalities that a lot of writers face. What kind of practicalities?
Well, you don’t make any money. Even when you publish a book, even if you publish multiple books, even if those books do well. You make some money [laughs]. But it’s just not something that you should ever rely on to be a steady source of income.
And it’s also lonely, not because of all the time you’re spending alone, but because there’s a loneliness in that your path in life isn’t going to ever be fully appreciated by the society [or] the culture that you’re in. When you say that you’re a writer, most people are going to be pretty confused- not only about why you’re a writer, but what that even means.
Wow, that’s a lot. So when you were going into college and you heard about all these obstacles that you would have to face, what did you think then?
So, the funny thing is that those practicalities weren’t really stated when I was in college because the practicalities I mentioned are really specific. What was actually told to me was more like, “You won’t make money!” [laughs].
And because that was such a general danger, those warnings didn’t feel like they came from a place of knowledge, or anything but from a place of love and fear.
I remember this conversation with my dad about another issue that he didn’t agree with, and he said, “You’re drinking out of a poisoned well. I know you’re thirsty, but you’re drinking out of a poisoned well”. And I said, “Dad, that may very well be the case, but you’re gonna have to let me poison myself first, before I understand that it’s a poisoned well. “ And in the case of becoming a writer, I don’t really think it was as poisonous as everyone said, but it does make you a little sick [laughs].
So, why are you still a writer?
Writing is such a huge part of how I experience the world, how I understand my experiences, and how I understand my values. It’s my best way of talking, both to myself and to everybody around me. To stop writing would mean to stop wanting to connect and communicate with people, and with myself.
Let’s talk about your book, Number One Chinese Restaurant. It’s a pretty dark and somber story, if I do say so myself. Why did you decide to write this kind of story?
So, I didn’t think that I was writing a somber and dark story [laughs]. I was trying to communicate the four weeks I spent working as a waitress at a Chinese restaurant. I was trying to understand all my feelings about that time period and all the people that I’ve met in that time period and try to figure out how they existed inside of this restaurant that felt like I could never have possibly stayed in for longer than I did.
It ended up turning out to be dark and somber, because I think there is darkness and somberness and seriousness to life in the service industry, where you’re working these really insane hours and always on your feet. You put your body through a lot of things and essentially have to shut off your own wants and needs in order to serve the customer, while also existing in America as an immigrant and having a family that has normal family issues.
I think that if a book or story is trying to capture an experience of life, then like life, it must have a mix of both the happy and the somber. I hope to have written a book that is true to life.
How do you think this novel or any of your other stories have changed people’s perception of Asian Americans, or the Asian American community?
I can’t speak at the group level, but individuals have told me that my book was one of the first times that they saw themselves and their families captured accurately and as a result of that accuracy, they were able to better understand their own families and better understand their own relationships.
What do you hope readers get out from Number One Chinese Restaurant?
I hope that they feel like these characters now exist for them. For longer than what they’ll remember about the plot or even how the book made them feel, I hope they’ll remember the characters.
What would you tell aspiring Asian American writers?
Remember why you write. Remember what writing gives to you that nothing else in your life does. And as long as you remember that, it will be a lot easier to keep going when things are difficult. I would also say that you can be a writer and have a day job. You can still write working a 9-to-5; you can still write having another job that you love. There are many ways to write and be a writer. As long as you keep writing, you are a writer.
Anita Li (17) is a senior at the National Cathedral School in Washington D.C. After starting as a writer for Yelloh Moose, she’s so excited to step into her role as Co-Director of Interviews! When she’s not asking people questions, you can find Anita crying over a K-Drama or playing Cards Against Humanity with her friends.
Originally published at https://yellohmoose.org.
